My dad and I on my wedding day In our current culture of "hooking up" and casual dating, what you'll read below may seem rather strange to some of you. What's wrong with going out with a new guy friend, a new guy friend every month or every week? What's wrong with hooking up and spending little time truly getting to know someone new? You may think the following list of questions that a young woman should ask a potential future husband are downright silly. Why spend so much time on such a thing like this? Especially since so many couples are living together before marriage, why don't they just wait until they move in together to find out this information? Marriage is not for cowards. It is a lifelong commitment to one person, and it is the second most important decision a person will ever make. The most important decision is whether or not to follow Jesus Christ in a personal, active relationship. Choosing to live together is not marriage. Not only is living together an act of rebellion against God, it is disrespecting your girlfriend/boyfriend and her/his parents. And did you realize that the divorce rate is significantly higher for couples who lived together before getting married? So much for the #1 reason couples quote for choosing to live together: "We're trying to get to know each other better, to see if we'd be good lifelong partners." Did I use this question list while being courted by my husband? Well, I didn't know such a list existed, but I did find out many of the answers to these questions during our two-year courtship together. We didn't have to live together to find out these answers. We didn't have to sexually defraud each other to learn the answers to these questions. Instead, we did what every couple should do before marriage: talk, talk, and talk some more. We also received pre-marital counseling, which was very beneficial! The document below has been provided by www.SolveFamilyProblems.com, a family ministry of Dr. S.M. Davis. If you are an email reader, you may need to click to view this webpage in order to see the PDF document. My husband and I have heard Dr. Davis speak at a homeschool convention in the past, and we also own a few of his DVDs. I highly recommend that every young adult read through this list of questions multiple times before entering into any type of courtship or serious dating relationship - or even a first date. Remember, every marriage started out with a first date! Besides being friends with a potential spouse before dating, remembering to ask many questions right away can help confirm whether or not this is the type of person God has planned for you or your adult children. If a young woman doesn't feel comfortable at first asking these kinds of questions, then her father should take the lead and begin asking Mr. Potential Husband these important questions. There may be a few questions of a very sensitive nature, that aren't appropriate to ask immediately, but this will vary from situation to situation. I hope that this list of questions will be helpful to families whose daughters (and sons) are entering into the courtship and marriage years, 18+. I know that when my husband first began to court me, he wasn't interested in a casual dating relationship, and neither was I. At age 25, we were both ready to date/court in preparation for marriage, and we wanted to have our courtship follow a godly path, so this placed our relationship in a different category right from the beginning as compared to the common casual dating fling these days.
5 Comments
Julie Underhil
7/14/2012 07:36:41 am
I love you!
Jordan
7/14/2012 02:25:19 pm
I loved reading this. Very wise!! It is also important to remember that if the man doesn't answer everything as perfectly as you would like, that's okay, if his heart is for God and he is striving to be more like the Lord than he is headed in the right direction :)
Jordan
7/14/2012 02:27:16 pm
Oh yes :) And its possible for sure! ...many of those questions point at his heart and what he strives for. I love it! Leave a Reply. |
Hi! I'm Julieanne!
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